I miss Italy. I love getting emails in Italiano from my school there that I attended briefly.
It hurts July 9, 2008
I’m trying to ignore the pain. It just hurts so much. It hurts telling someone to fuck off especially if I cared deeply for him. But I was nothing to him. I wasn’t worth anything to him. He didn’t give a shit about me.
So I had to tell him to fuck off. I don’t think I can ever talk to him again because of the pain he put me through. I won’t ever forgive him.
I’ll continue to stay strong. He can take on the weak role. I’ll be strong through this and forget him forever. I’m trying to forget the time when he looked into my eyes with all the love in his eyes and told me that he loved me and then kissed my forehead. I know you loved me even after you broke up with me, you wouldn’t admit your mistake. This just breaks my heart. Just why am I still fighting for him?
Perfection July 9, 2008
I hate it when someone asks me for my astrology sign. It’s capricorn. I don’t believe in that stuff, but everytime I tell them my sign, they go “Ooooh! That’s so you!” So it makes me wonder. I’m not as meticulous, but I do like to be organized. I consider myself strong, but not exactly ambitious. All I know is that I want to somehow affect the world, but I don’t have any plan. So that’s not ambitious to me.
I consider myself extremely trustworthy and I have nothing to hide. I have no secrets. I can’t be always serious though, I like to joke around and laugh. I can be considered serious because I remember clasping my hands together while at a crazy rock concert and I stood there just watching with a straight face even though I loved it. I’m not dedicated to school, I just get lucky and hitch a ride through my talent and personality. I’m definitely not hard working unless it’s something I’m extremely interested in.
I’m very aloof. I am accident prone. I like to criticize myself constantly because I know that I can do better. I take on the blame a lot. It seems that it’s always my fault if something gets messed up. I can face the responsibility of being blamed and I can apologize easily. I don’t have any hard feelings. I don’t want any grudges. I don’t like to let go of something I believe in. I fight for it and am extremely persistent.
Do I even match my own astrology sign? I don’t know. Judge for yourself. I’m not perfect.
Wildfire July 9, 2008
So there’s a HUGE wildfire about an hour and half away from my house.
http://www.theunion.com/article/20080709/WEBUPDATE/504377140
We’re getting their leftovers. All those smoke. It’s terrible for them. There was a huge fire here on my property in the 80’s and it burnt down a house before the previous owners rebuilt it. There was a fire about two houses away from mine at the end of May. Jeez, California and their wildfires. At the same time, I’m glad we don’t get tornadoes, hurricanes, and such. Those scare me. I’m used to wildfires and earthquakes. I even used to live on San Andreas fault line and experienced the major earthquake in 1989 when I was in my ballet class. It was nothing to me, just a little cleaning up in the kitchen and on bookshelves.
The sun is an incredible shade of red right now because of all the smoke. We’re literally covered in smoke and it’s driving me crazy. Majority of my summer here in California has been covered in smoke from all those wildfires nearby. I haven’t seen a clear blue sky in maybe a month. I hope it’ll all clear up before I leave for New York because I would like to see a typical summer day in California for once. I don’t know if that’ll happen.
Yay for natural disasters.
Riesling! July 9, 2008
Oh gosh, I looked for it everywhere in California. None of the stores seemed to sell my favorite wine, Yellowtail Riesling. Apparently it’s not popular at all here.
I finally found it today at Safeway! I was so happy that I had to grab it! How can none of the stores sell my favorite wine here in California while it’s one of the popular wines nationally?
Almost hit us, bastard July 9, 2008
I was driving my dad’s cute little BMW convertible today with my sisters sitting in the back and mom in the passenger seat. There was a huge rig truck and he was trying to park his truck backwards by blocking the whole busy road. Few cars ahead of me managed to get past the gap in front of his truck, so my mom told me not to stop in the road and to go slowly past his gap to make sure that he sees us.
My instinct was to stop and let him finish backing up out of my way because it was a small gap, just too risky for me. I figured that he would need to go forward and then reverse again. My instinct was right and I should have listened to it. He wasn’t looking when I squeezed through the opening and almost hit us as he went forward to straighten up. I swerved just in time and sped up when I saw him coming my way. He was about 2 inches away from hitting my side.
Bastard, watch out for little BMW convertibles next time. 
I don’t want to get in trouble with my dad. Oh yeah, and see what I mean about driving with my parents? They always seem to make the wrong decisions and tell me what to do when I should just listen to my guts. It’s just an accident waiting to happen. I know how to drive so they should just let me drive.
To men: here’s how women work pt 2. July 9, 2008
A new update with more advice for men who know nothing about how we, lovely women, think. I love having conversations with my bestfriends about men. It’s just like Sex and the City.
6. If we look upset and you ask us, “What’s wrong?” We will usually say no. That means, “Yes, there is something wrong!” We want you to romance us into telling you what’s wrong. We want you to drag it out of us, it shows that you care. If you ignore us, we’ll get more upset.
7. If you want sex and we’re not in the mood. It means we’re not in the mood, period. Give it up and go to sleep. We’ll kiss you good night and roll over to sleep.
8. If we catch you checking out another girl, it makes us feel like we’re not good enough for you. Do it on your own time when we’re not with you so that we can’t catch you having dirty thoughts about someone else.
I’ll try and come up with more later.
